My relationship with mum has became bad along the way, and I don't even know when... She told me that she had taught me wrongly - so does it mean that I need to do other than those she told me to?
Anyways, lets not give up on trying. After all, no one is supposed to choose your mother.
I'd tried to talk to her with positive vibes, threw more cautious towards the tone of my speech, keeping back the actual emotion and choose the news that I deliver to her selectively.
It's working.
At least I think it is... when I told mum today that I'm changing to a new job, she asked me what about my plan for doing TeaRoom. I was so relieved to hear that, so she's not going to go head strong against the TeaRoom plan. When I also told her that I will be taking a long break before starting new job, she said that will give me more time to take orders and bake at home. Another relief from me. Finally, I told her I am negotiating on a flexible working hour for new job so that I can still spend relatively enough time for baking and when TeaRoom commercial materializes, I will be able to manage.
Mum was overall receptive towards the change, and she said she felt it was a good thing I joined this company as I'd learnt a lot (she used to comment that I made a bad decision on taking up this current job) and she said the change should be good.
Phew..... It's so easy talking to mum when she's in this "version".
Baked mum a gooey butter cake today, and we are all bringing her out for a Japanese buffet. I hope mum doesn't feel pressured or anything with our presence or whatever we do.
Happy mother's day to my mum! Hope her life will be a peaceful and serene one from now. Hope she has given up worrying TOO much about us and that she fully enjoy her life with the company of her grandchild, and many more to come :)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
想念
发现很多时候想念你，比想把你忘记容易，因为心里有你总比把你从心里掏出来少一点心疼。
今晚特别想念你的微笑，想念你穿长袖衬衫的帅气，想念你吃巧克力蛋糕的摸样，想念和你相望的时刻，想念坐在你身边看你专注驾车的神态，想念。。。
今晚特别想念你的微笑，想念你穿长袖衬衫的帅气，想念你吃巧克力蛋糕的摸样，想念和你相望的时刻，想念坐在你身边看你专注驾车的神态，想念。。。
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Another Week
This week has been... hmmm, tiring.
First there was this briefing in office by boss on the new business defination and directions. Along with that new tasks and some changes which made me really tired just by imagining. It is also especially tiring when you no longer like what you are doing I suppose.
Followed by being tired of work, there was a cake order which was phsically tiring. But since it was something I love doing, the mind was feeling motivated. Having said that, at 1am the first night, the body was screaming for a break. Second night, I was asking myself why, oh why did I accept the order at 2am. Went to sleep at 5am hoping that I can sleep through the whole day the next day. After delivering the cake, I felt great!
I go through this stage everytime when I am rushing for a cake order at odd hours. It's always like that because one can never complete the cake order way in advance I suppose when one is dealing with perishable items. Need to keep them relatively fresh? Work last minute. Again, having said that, it would be useful if the orders are confirmed earlier, especially the theme to allow advance making of the figurines which needed time to dry and harden. Making the figurines in advance will also allow chance for re-sculpturing for a more perfect version.
That was work, my two jobs...
Had dinner with MFG just before I needed to work late nights for the order. Looks like MFG is still the guy that knows me best (notice I said guy? so I meant to say there are many gals who know me well and know me best guy is MFG... :)) and know to say the right thing all the time while being honest. Supportive, chatty, humourous at the right time, caring, good mentor... (good looking, fit, non-smoker, have own business... :p) just the kind of husband I'm looking for. Anymore MFG type out there who are available?
Nevertheless, I had a great Wednesday having spent dinner time with MFG, and on my way back, I bumped into (not really lah, like walked passed, saw each other) a local singer, movie actor - that perfected my night.
The icing of the cake that night was a job offer. Great! I need a change but there are things that are complicated, and everthing looks very unsettled now. Or perhaps should rather say I feel very unsettled and cannot see my future clear. Dreams are not yet coming true but change is urgently required. I resolved in praying hard and let amituofo decides and tell me what will be best.
After rushing to deliver the cake on Saturday evening, I had a real great time with sis, BIL and bebe. Time spent with family is always great. Too bad mum is not the same set of puzzle... sigh. Just came back from dinner with sis & fam, and one of her friends and this pretty sums up the week. I think I need a break, an off day other than weekends.
I'm feeling sleepy now and this is a good news for a Sunday night, looks like I won't have insomnia tonight. Finger crossed :)
First there was this briefing in office by boss on the new business defination and directions. Along with that new tasks and some changes which made me really tired just by imagining. It is also especially tiring when you no longer like what you are doing I suppose.
Followed by being tired of work, there was a cake order which was phsically tiring. But since it was something I love doing, the mind was feeling motivated. Having said that, at 1am the first night, the body was screaming for a break. Second night, I was asking myself why, oh why did I accept the order at 2am. Went to sleep at 5am hoping that I can sleep through the whole day the next day. After delivering the cake, I felt great!
I go through this stage everytime when I am rushing for a cake order at odd hours. It's always like that because one can never complete the cake order way in advance I suppose when one is dealing with perishable items. Need to keep them relatively fresh? Work last minute. Again, having said that, it would be useful if the orders are confirmed earlier, especially the theme to allow advance making of the figurines which needed time to dry and harden. Making the figurines in advance will also allow chance for re-sculpturing for a more perfect version.
That was work, my two jobs...
Had dinner with MFG just before I needed to work late nights for the order. Looks like MFG is still the guy that knows me best (notice I said guy? so I meant to say there are many gals who know me well and know me best guy is MFG... :)) and know to say the right thing all the time while being honest. Supportive, chatty, humourous at the right time, caring, good mentor... (good looking, fit, non-smoker, have own business... :p) just the kind of husband I'm looking for. Anymore MFG type out there who are available?
Nevertheless, I had a great Wednesday having spent dinner time with MFG, and on my way back, I bumped into (not really lah, like walked passed, saw each other) a local singer, movie actor - that perfected my night.
The icing of the cake that night was a job offer. Great! I need a change but there are things that are complicated, and everthing looks very unsettled now. Or perhaps should rather say I feel very unsettled and cannot see my future clear. Dreams are not yet coming true but change is urgently required. I resolved in praying hard and let amituofo decides and tell me what will be best.
After rushing to deliver the cake on Saturday evening, I had a real great time with sis, BIL and bebe. Time spent with family is always great. Too bad mum is not the same set of puzzle... sigh. Just came back from dinner with sis & fam, and one of her friends and this pretty sums up the week. I think I need a break, an off day other than weekends.
I'm feeling sleepy now and this is a good news for a Sunday night, looks like I won't have insomnia tonight. Finger crossed :)
Monday, April 19, 2010
A rather good Monday
Woke up early for RPM. Found that I didn't do too bad, instead, I think better and more energetic than last Friday, I guess because I had a good rest during the weekend. On my way out from the gym, the girl at the front desk told me that she wanted to ask me where did I get my stockings. Haha... so my new fashion is kind of noticeable... But she told me she got herself one at The Curve... yeah, she was wearing the thick black stocking. Nice...
Reached office and found that my "neighbour" was on half day leave. Good, which means half a day of fresh air. Yeah, my neighbour colleague there is a heavy smoker, every time he walked back after his cigarette break, he pollutes the air so badly that it made me want to puke and flares up my sinus immediately. Not just that, most of the time he has bad BO and when he burps..... yeeeuuuwwww.... don't even want to describe it.
So, today I finally decided that enough is enough, why do I want to be tolerate bad air quality? So I went to made a request with my boss who asked me why do I want to change cubicle. I told him that my place was very stuffy. Puzzled, my boss commented that I've been sitting at my place for more than 2 years but it only got stuffy now? At the end I told him the reason (truth) that my place got stuffy was because my colleague smell of smoke all the time and it's very smelly. That did it, boss told me to move to the next cubicle, but I told boss I want to move further. Haha.... he told me to choose where ever I want to move to. Happy!
Though my new place is now right at the middle, and with more people around me, less privacy, but hey, fresher air!!! Sometimes it just take one decision for better quality of "living" hehe...
Today's traffic seemed great, not much congestion. I find that my happiness is somehow determined by the traffic now a days haha... Overall quite a good Monday.
Baked chicken pie and a new cupcake recipe during the weekend since there were no orders, and they both turned out great. MC practically said she hasn't have enough chicken pie, and she had a lot of cupcakes too (and mum too had quite a lot) - I also couldn't stop myself from eating that. So I'm a happy baker.
Reached office and found that my "neighbour" was on half day leave. Good, which means half a day of fresh air. Yeah, my neighbour colleague there is a heavy smoker, every time he walked back after his cigarette break, he pollutes the air so badly that it made me want to puke and flares up my sinus immediately. Not just that, most of the time he has bad BO and when he burps..... yeeeuuuwwww.... don't even want to describe it.
So, today I finally decided that enough is enough, why do I want to be tolerate bad air quality? So I went to made a request with my boss who asked me why do I want to change cubicle. I told him that my place was very stuffy. Puzzled, my boss commented that I've been sitting at my place for more than 2 years but it only got stuffy now? At the end I told him the reason (truth) that my place got stuffy was because my colleague smell of smoke all the time and it's very smelly. That did it, boss told me to move to the next cubicle, but I told boss I want to move further. Haha.... he told me to choose where ever I want to move to. Happy!
Though my new place is now right at the middle, and with more people around me, less privacy, but hey, fresher air!!! Sometimes it just take one decision for better quality of "living" hehe...
Today's traffic seemed great, not much congestion. I find that my happiness is somehow determined by the traffic now a days haha... Overall quite a good Monday.
Baked chicken pie and a new cupcake recipe during the weekend since there were no orders, and they both turned out great. MC practically said she hasn't have enough chicken pie, and she had a lot of cupcakes too (and mum too had quite a lot) - I also couldn't stop myself from eating that. So I'm a happy baker.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Mother
It's not yet May, not yet Mother's Day when everyone writes about mothers and their sacrifices. But I have been noticing friends in FB and blog writing about mums.
How sad is that? I don't know what kind of relationship I am with mum right now, leave alone what kind of situation we will be in the future. Can love be one way? Can we each ignore how the other party feel and just treat the other like the most precious thing in the world?
I think for now I'll just "be there" spiritually for mum since I can feel the wall around her lately. I guess that's her defence mechanism to prevent herself getting hurt again. It doesn't mean that being a mum will unconditionally let your child break your heart again I guess. I guess mum can also get tired of their child and would like to give up on them - if not really give up, but at least tell them that she has given up.
So as a child, I'll just believe what she says for now. I also cannot live with constantly getting hurtful remarks from her. I want to avoid that because I still have feelings towards mum and I cannot ignore her comments.
It's really kind of sad. I wish mum will just say and do what she really wants and not doing or saying things just because she wants to maintain her superior image as a Mother.
I hope mum is happy.
How sad is that? I don't know what kind of relationship I am with mum right now, leave alone what kind of situation we will be in the future. Can love be one way? Can we each ignore how the other party feel and just treat the other like the most precious thing in the world?
I think for now I'll just "be there" spiritually for mum since I can feel the wall around her lately. I guess that's her defence mechanism to prevent herself getting hurt again. It doesn't mean that being a mum will unconditionally let your child break your heart again I guess. I guess mum can also get tired of their child and would like to give up on them - if not really give up, but at least tell them that she has given up.
So as a child, I'll just believe what she says for now. I also cannot live with constantly getting hurtful remarks from her. I want to avoid that because I still have feelings towards mum and I cannot ignore her comments.
It's really kind of sad. I wish mum will just say and do what she really wants and not doing or saying things just because she wants to maintain her superior image as a Mother.
I hope mum is happy.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Endurance training
No... not RPM. Although I'd to say, RPM is one of the best activities for endurance training, you really neeeeeed to bear with the pain and get through with that in order to accomplish your mission. Kind of no pain, no gain.
I'm off to a Singapore trip, a business trip else I'll be yippie-ing away. And this is a trip with the bosses... already tired to the max by just bearing that thought. I hope I can just shoo the image of the trip away. I guess there's no escaping from insomnia tonight. Usual Sunday insomnia + pre-trip stress.
But one really lucky fact is that I got a single room for myself. Phew... At least there is a hideout place so to speak, and I can breathe during the night and don't need to entertain colleague after "working hours" (if there's going to be such thing during the trip).
Having said that I hate going for this trip, there should be time and chances for me to do some quick shopping as there are going to be meetings that I go on my own. I'd like to get some cake decorating books from Singapore. I know I won't have the time to go to the bakery stuff supply shop for some cool decoration tools or gadget, but I would like to at least get a book from Kinokuniya or something...
Now, let me go TRY to sleep... I wish me luck :)
I'm off to a Singapore trip, a business trip else I'll be yippie-ing away. And this is a trip with the bosses... already tired to the max by just bearing that thought. I hope I can just shoo the image of the trip away. I guess there's no escaping from insomnia tonight. Usual Sunday insomnia + pre-trip stress.
But one really lucky fact is that I got a single room for myself. Phew... At least there is a hideout place so to speak, and I can breathe during the night and don't need to entertain colleague after "working hours" (if there's going to be such thing during the trip).
Having said that I hate going for this trip, there should be time and chances for me to do some quick shopping as there are going to be meetings that I go on my own. I'd like to get some cake decorating books from Singapore. I know I won't have the time to go to the bakery stuff supply shop for some cool decoration tools or gadget, but I would like to at least get a book from Kinokuniya or something...
Now, let me go TRY to sleep... I wish me luck :)
Monday, April 5, 2010
Rewarding
Last week was a really hectic, but fruitful, week.
The time was actually very manageable but certain things just cannot be done too in advance, like the cakes for Saturday and Sunday can only be baked on Thursday (the rum and raisins on Wednesday since it will keep well with the liqueur). Though I can make the toppers in advance, the tennis court for instance, was only made last because I wasn't totally sure on the size. Actually, I also didn't have that much time during the weekday nights, that is if I still want to get a reasonably sufficient amount of sleep and get up early to go to gym. I was up on Friday night until 4 o'clock in the morning to complete the Saturday delivery; and the one delivered on Saturday evening was only completed just before 5.30pm. Rushed that out after I went out to send the other 2 orders at noon on Saturday itself.
But it's really rewarding, can't wait for the shop proper to start, and perhaps I can push this to like 10 fold? Or okay, 5 times maybe?
After one whole day of crazy schedule and madness, Saturday night dinner was relaxing. Went out to Gardens for Korean food with MC, BIL and Bebe. Sunday was a total relax day, first of all wanted to sleep - 10 hours, which still didn't feel quite enough. Went to gym, did a pump class which I tried to increase the weights I lift to see if the lack of energy during the previous classes was due to muscle not awake for 7am morning class... then went to late lunch with MC and BIL again, shopping... Back to home later to watch Avatar dvd and had home made sandwich dinner. Yumss...
As for Avatar, I like the movie effects a lot, the plants are simply beautiful! But I don't like the movie overall because too many people died in the movie. It's rather disturbing. Maybe I'll stick to cartoon, or movies like Transformers and Iron Man where only the bad guys will die.
So coming back to the pump class... this was what I did:
1) warm up: used 5kgs (my old time weights) instead of my recent 3.5kg. It was okay, but only because there weren't too many overhead presses. I find that I cannot manage overhead presses so well with that weight now.
2) Squat: changed from 10kgs to 8.5kg (used to be 10kgs) after some consideration, especially saw that instructor only used 10kgs haha. 8.5kgs was quite manageable, but I find that my shoulder was a bit strained carrying the barbell.
3) Chest: back to 5kgs. Was okay actually, but had to skip a few moves and towards the end I was doing baby singles already. Actually just like what I did the last time :p
4) Back: 6kgs (used to be 7.5kgs). Not too bad, but I really didn't think I could have managed any heavier than that - couldn't have managed the clean and press when lifting the bar overhead.
5) Triceps: back to 5kgs, and that's because there were really very little bar workout, mostly plate kick back.
6) Biceps: back to 3.5kgs... cannot manage many repetitions. But it's just like last time, I was never able to manage bicep curls anyways. I think I want to change this to 2.5kg only haha...
7) Lunges: no weights. During some days previously, I might actually carry a 5kg plate.
8) Shoulder: 2.5kg plate throughout, just like last time.
Let me try to "kill" myself in this coming Thursday morning class with my "usual" weights and see how it goes. Haha...
The time was actually very manageable but certain things just cannot be done too in advance, like the cakes for Saturday and Sunday can only be baked on Thursday (the rum and raisins on Wednesday since it will keep well with the liqueur). Though I can make the toppers in advance, the tennis court for instance, was only made last because I wasn't totally sure on the size. Actually, I also didn't have that much time during the weekday nights, that is if I still want to get a reasonably sufficient amount of sleep and get up early to go to gym. I was up on Friday night until 4 o'clock in the morning to complete the Saturday delivery; and the one delivered on Saturday evening was only completed just before 5.30pm. Rushed that out after I went out to send the other 2 orders at noon on Saturday itself.
But it's really rewarding, can't wait for the shop proper to start, and perhaps I can push this to like 10 fold? Or okay, 5 times maybe?
After one whole day of crazy schedule and madness, Saturday night dinner was relaxing. Went out to Gardens for Korean food with MC, BIL and Bebe. Sunday was a total relax day, first of all wanted to sleep - 10 hours, which still didn't feel quite enough. Went to gym, did a pump class which I tried to increase the weights I lift to see if the lack of energy during the previous classes was due to muscle not awake for 7am morning class... then went to late lunch with MC and BIL again, shopping... Back to home later to watch Avatar dvd and had home made sandwich dinner. Yumss...
As for Avatar, I like the movie effects a lot, the plants are simply beautiful! But I don't like the movie overall because too many people died in the movie. It's rather disturbing. Maybe I'll stick to cartoon, or movies like Transformers and Iron Man where only the bad guys will die.
So coming back to the pump class... this was what I did:
1) warm up: used 5kgs (my old time weights) instead of my recent 3.5kg. It was okay, but only because there weren't too many overhead presses. I find that I cannot manage overhead presses so well with that weight now.
2) Squat: changed from 10kgs to 8.5kg (used to be 10kgs) after some consideration, especially saw that instructor only used 10kgs haha. 8.5kgs was quite manageable, but I find that my shoulder was a bit strained carrying the barbell.
3) Chest: back to 5kgs. Was okay actually, but had to skip a few moves and towards the end I was doing baby singles already. Actually just like what I did the last time :p
4) Back: 6kgs (used to be 7.5kgs). Not too bad, but I really didn't think I could have managed any heavier than that - couldn't have managed the clean and press when lifting the bar overhead.
5) Triceps: back to 5kgs, and that's because there were really very little bar workout, mostly plate kick back.
6) Biceps: back to 3.5kgs... cannot manage many repetitions. But it's just like last time, I was never able to manage bicep curls anyways. I think I want to change this to 2.5kg only haha...
7) Lunges: no weights. During some days previously, I might actually carry a 5kg plate.
8) Shoulder: 2.5kg plate throughout, just like last time.
Let me try to "kill" myself in this coming Thursday morning class with my "usual" weights and see how it goes. Haha...
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