想念

发现很多时候想念你，比想把你忘记容易，因为心里有你总比把你从心里掏出来少一点心疼。

今晚特别想念你的微笑，想念你穿长袖衬衫的帅气，想念你吃巧克力蛋糕的摸样，想念和你相望的时刻，想念坐在你身边看你专注驾车的神态，想念。。。

I will try my best...

I was quite inspired the other day when Swee discussed about this Chinese proverb - "百世修得同船渡，千世修来共忱眠". We were discussing the word "修" and were trying to determine what was the best translation for this word to English. Normally this word alone means something like "cultivate" but in this sentence, it doesn't mean cultivate. Well, it does still have the essence of cultivating I feel, but we thought then that it was supposed to mean more like "put in effort" or "hard work".

This proverb was from the Buddha - 佛曰: 百年修得同船渡，千年修得共枕眠! 而千年之后又能相守几时? 并非我曰! He also said - 五百次的回眸，才换来人群中的一次擦身而过.

It is difficult to translate the proverb word by word, but if we must, this is what it means roughly - "one will get to be in a same boat (crossing the river etc) with another person after one has made an effort (to build a relationship) with this person in question for the passed one hundred years; one will get to share the same pillow (actually means gotten married with each other) with another person after one has made an effort (to build a relationship) with this person for the passed one thousand years."

Buddha also said - "only after one has turned five hundred times to glance at another person that one will get to closely pass by this other person in question in the crowd for one time."

The discussion topic was actually about "缘" - destiny.

Like Swee said, from her point of view, and it actually meant to say, that it took great effort and "time" for two persons to be able to be together; therefore, we must cherish everyone around us, especially your other half. It is not easy, IF ONLY we remember our passed lives (yes Swee, coming to that point too shortly) that you will really feel and say the "it's not easy" with conviction. And if you can "see" what you've gone through to get to where you are with him/her today, I'm sure you will definitely handle the relationship with utmost care. :)

Now I will leave Swee to talk about this in her blog - are you still going to blog about this? Else can always leave your views in my comments and start another discussion session here with some anonymous - if they do drop in. Haha...

So I told Swee that I feel really sad every time I see this proverb because I actually see this from another point of view as well - which you might think is negative.

If I have met someone I really like and have done all the right things I could but still couldn't get things to work out between the two of us, it is because there has not been enough effort during the passed lives to enable "enough" destiny for our relationship to work in this life. Therefore, there is nothing I can do about it - at least not for now.

So, knowing the "theory" behind this matter of destiny, I will not give up on all the possible efforts - I will still try my best to stay in touch with him, make sure I send him a "good morning" message everyday, be at outings and occasions where he will be at, pamper him with as many gifts as I can (or as he will accept), and not give up being just his best friend because I've probably put in a lot of effort in the passed nine hundred years to get to be his best friend - and with all these aforementioned efforts, I will probably get to be with him in my next, or next next next next life.

(note to self - lets just 往生净土 and never "come back" actually)

Nevertheless, I'm somewhat positive, no?

And my dearest said, the problem is I will not remember (him). I know I won't remember him, but with so much effort, I know I will like him all over again.

And hopefully he will feel so too then.

空

最近频频有点空洞的感觉。无论工作有多忙，无论身边有多少人围绕，总觉得好像缺少了些什么。

真的很矛盾。享受着当下的快乐，希望时间能够停留，他永远在我身边；可是，有时又感觉很不耐烦，总是好像在等待着一些什么事发生， 所以希望时间能够飞快，恨不得一夜之间看到结局。

我想，如果我努力，总有一天，TeaRoom这梦想一定能实现。

我怕，就算我努力，到了那天，他这梦想未必能实现。

很无聊。

其实幸福可以很简单

我发觉幸福其实是一种可以选择的感觉。

很多时候我们把幸福的定义写的太过复杂，把幸福的标准定的太过高。当现实与梦想的距离相差得太过大的时候，心情当然会跟着转灰啦。

我想，要有阳光般的心情首先要把事情简单化，把顾虑放下，知足的享受现在的每一刻。

有你缴付午餐，买水果和那五分钟特别的陪伴，那不就已经很幸福了吗？

开不了口

刚刚读过Carebear的post. 令我很感触的是这句 - “一个连喜欢与否都说不出口的人...” - 那里谈的是另外一回事，可是令我相到，有时候喜欢一个人，真的会遇到开不了口的情况。

如果真的开不了口，那该怎么办呢？

等待，或许有一天？

那一天，可能是时机成熟，又可能是时间已把一切冲淡。

有一点点吗？

当你偶尔凝视着我的时候，你有别的话要说吗？还是你是因为我那异常的眼神，而将你的目光逗留了片刻？很费解还是开始有一点点的理解？

喜欢你说时常都会赞助我, 听起来好像是瞒特别的安排. 你知道吗? 其实你是赞助我最多午餐的人. 多希望你可以是我永远的特别赞助人.

我总是爱问你, 那个"她"是不是你要找的"她". 有没有察觉到我语气中偶尔会有点酸酸的? 你是不会多疑还是开始有一点点的怀疑?

最近时常建议你不如请我吃晚餐, 听起来我好像是个贪吃的小丫头. 你知道吗? 其实我不常要别人邀我吃晚餐. 我在想，你有可能是我身边那特别的角色吗？

有一点点感觉吗?

有时候

有时候，总是想把你逗笑，喜欢听见你的笑声，能让胸口有一丝丝温暖的感觉。
那时候，你能够感觉得到我那满足的心情吗？


有时候，总是爱把想告诉你的话说成玩笑，深怕真相会把事情弄糟让你有一丝丝不安的感觉。
那时候，你能够感觉得到我微笑背后那无奈的心情吗？


有时候，总是傻气的向你要求各种回报，期待的是再多那一点点相处的机会。
那时候，你能够明白我那刻意但小心的安排吗？


有时候，我总觉得你也应该有一点点动心吧。
那时候，我想你一定能够察觉到我那幸福的心情。

我什么时侯才能够告诉你呢？

加油！！！

你很累了吗？

最近加快了脚步，为了赶上忙碌的生活；把每一天的时间排的密密麻麻，想要把每一件事情都办好。

然而，令人焦虑的事情总会在忙得没有日夜的此时此刻出现，另已经累弯腰的身体加添负荷。

我会... 把手心按在胸口，告诉自己 - 没关系，我可以做到！



很有压力吧！

最近加多了思绪，为了追求理想的结局；将每一刻的心情系在某人某事，想要把每一个障碍都越过。

可是，令人期待的愿望总不在烦得无法平静的一呼一吸实现，将已快要发疯的情绪紧受压逼。

我会... 把头抬起，深深的叹一口气，告诉自己- 没关系，我有巧克力！

放纵片刻，休息加油 - 愿你轻松完成所有使命！

思念

曾以为思念是因为... 相隔遥远两地而牵肠挂肚。

曾以为想见是因为... 很久不见对方而朝思暮想。

原来思念是... 面对面，相见不相知；时常见，有意但犹豫。

~A Chinese post inspired by Carebear~

其实不简单

前几天很以意外的收到一则短讯，感觉一股莫名其妙的心酸涌上胸口，没有办法咽下。无法停止的长唉断叹。还以为自己一直把心情处理的很妥当，怎么因一些已经知道的事情而感觉不是味道呢？

我心想，可不可以放弃曾经说过要永远是好友的诺言？可不可以像辞职一样的离开做朋友的角色？

再想想，做好一个没有办法拒绝的次选角色真的其实很不简单。 不过，总不可以逃避现实吧。还是勇敢的面对， 努力抚平那胸口小小的心痛吧...

Anticipation

等待

等待，是一种怎样的滋味？
是甜甜的喜悦？ 是酸酸的嫉妒？ 是苦苦的思念？ 还是辣辣的心痛？

等待，像是一种没有特效药的疾病；
不会传染， 只会在心里永无止境的滋生。

~All rights reserved. Carebear~


From: TTB
23:53
December 8, 2008

Did you write tat? Very gud wo!


From: Carebear
00:03
December 9, 2008

Yeah I did :-)

I think...

Anticipation is, stomach full of butterflies - if you are waiting for a person who makes your heart skip that beat; if you are waiting for an sms, an email, a MSN message...

Anticipation is, like a life sentence - if you are waiting for a person who makes your heart aches; if you are waiting for his response, his acknowledgement, his answer...


Carebear says:
on December 9, 2008 at 6.00pm on MSN

等待

等待，是一种什么样的滋味？
是甜甜的窃喜？
是酸酸的嫉妒？
是苦苦的思念？
还是辣辣的心痛？

那五味掺伴的感觉，像没有特效药的疾病。
不会散播传染， 只会在病患心中永无止境的滋长。。
等待- 是无期限的

Anticipation is a mixed feeling, a sickness with no antidote.
Anticipation is not infectious, but it will infest in the person's heart forever.
Waiting, is eternity.

塞翁失马, 焉知非福?

战国时期，靠近北部边城，住着一个老人，名叫塞翁。塞翁养了许多马，一天，他的马群中忽然有一匹走失了。邻居们听说这件事，跑来安慰，劝他不必太着急，年龄大了，多注意身体。塞翁见有人劝慰，笑了笑说：“丢了一匹马损失不大，没准会带来什么福气呢。”邻居听了塞翁的话，心里觉得很好笑。马丢了，明明是件坏事，他却认为也许是好事，显然是自我安慰而已。过了几天，丢失的马不仅自动返回家，还带回一匹匈奴的骏马。邻居听说了，对塞翁的预见非常佩服，向塞翁道贺说：“还是您有远见，马不仅没有丢，还带回一匹好马，真是福气呀。”塞翁听了邻人的祝贺，反而一点高兴的样子都没有，忧虑地说：“白白得了一匹好马，不一定是什么福气，也许惹出什么麻烦来。”邻居们以为他故作姿态纯属老年人的狡猾。心里明明高兴，有意不说出来。塞翁有个独生子，非常喜欢骑马。他发现带回来的那匹马顾盼生姿，身长蹄大，嘶鸣嘹亮，膘悍神骏，一看就知道是匹好马。他每天都骑马出游，心中洋洋得意。一天，他高兴得有些过火，打马飞奔，一个趔趄，从马背上跌下来，摔断了腿。邻居听说，纷纷来慰问。塞翁说：“没什么，腿摔断了却保住性命，或许是福气呢。”邻居们觉得他又在胡言乱语。他们想不出，摔断腿会带来什么福气。不久，匈奴兵大举入侵，青年人被应征入伍，塞翁的儿子因为摔断了腿，不能去当兵。入伍的青年都战死了，唯有塞翁的儿子保全了性命.(borrowed from: http://www.cnweblog.com/bjy1119/archive/2007/11/22/263153.html)

A short translation: During the Warring State times, there was an old man called, "Sai Weng" (塞翁), who reared many horses. One day, one of his horses escaped. While all his neighbours thought it was an unfortunate incident, Sai
Weng feels that loosing the horse might bring him luck and prosperity.

Later, his horse returns by itself and together with another fine horse. When the neighbours congratulated him and were happy for him for his gain, Sai Weng thought it might not be all so fortunate.

Sai Weng's son, a horse lover was delighted with the new horse and rode the horse everyday till one day he accidentally fell from the horse and broke his leg. Again, concerned neighbours came to visit and Sai Weng told them it's very fortunate that his son only broke his leg and not lost his life.

Some time later, Hsiungnu Soldiers attacked the country and all young men were summoned to join the army to defend the country. Sai Weng's son however,with the broken leg was exempted. Many lives were lost during the war but fortunately, Sai Weng's son was not one of them.

We would always associate losses with unfortunates and grieves. Sometimes, losses are not ill omen, it could be the start of something better.

If you don't first let go of what you have in your hands, you will not be able to grab hold of the something better. Whatever happen now, no matter how bad it seems or how hard it is to move on, it is perhaps a preparation for the best that will yet happen in your life.

There is always a reason for something to happen, we will not know why or what it will lead to, but what we can do is to always believe that it's for the best.

感情和理智

感情和理智本来就是很难分清和决择的。

感情用事让我们忘我的勇敢去热爱-无怨无悔，不怀疑的为对方付出；可是感情用事也可以使我们变得盲目和甚至有时不可理喻。

理智让我们清楚的控制爱情-按部就班的安排，清醒的分析感情路上的每一决定；可是理智也可以使我们变得没有情趣甚至冷漠无情。

感情和理智，你要怎样抉择呢？我想我会选择理智 。。。