I ended my work week with an awfully tantrum episode.
Sigh... I think a lot of my cells are killed and I must have lost that 1kg because of stress. What did I always say? Be careful what you wish for - this doesn't look like a "healthy" way to lose weight.
I guess the De briefing in the morning had disheartened me to start with. I hate briefing by the big boss, it's always stressful and discouraging since the reason for briefing is normally to rectify faults. Along with that, lectures, interrogations, justifications and now to add on to the list, finger pointing. However, I insist of being myself - I'm not those who put blames on others, if possible, I will always take up responsibility and will accept the fact that I will have to get things fixed after that. Coincidentally, my colleagues are like me, especially my junior who had surprising picked up all my little indication and the tiniest body language of cuing her.
The demoralizing session was followed by a discussion with The Wicked Witch of The West which was enough to cause high blood pressure and possibly a stroke. After that was running around trying to complete tasks assigned by the GREAT one while leaving me worries of my other very important tasks. Not to mention solid grey mood.
As a finale, unreasonable written comments were received truly showing the flickered minded, fault finding and wicked personality of the Witch. It's annoying okay.
I really didn't want to release the tantrum me in the office but that tantrum self just emerged and believe it or not, I actually felt like unleashing that version of me. So, in short, I made a major complaint to my immediate boss, and I could actually fell my cheek burning and tears welling up. Okay, no of course I didn't cry. I was particularly heartbroken when recalling the previous session with the big boss. I told IB that I do not want to go through that again. I felt really betrayed the other time. Because when you tell you boss your problems, you expect them to at least help you, not put you in the spotlight and later tells you that you NEED to be able to resolve conflicts. CONFLICTS???
Phew... ok, feeling much better now. Blog had turned bitter now a days. Must post some sweet stuff soon. And you know what? I'm not looking forward to the next cake project - it's going to be really stressful.
Okay, I need to stay cool. No more tantrum, no more complaining and no more letting unworthy people effecting my mood.
Went shopping today which was a great retail therapy. Hey, Debenhams is on sale, "best ever sale" as I quote and I can testify that. It's really good. Before that, spent over RM80 just to get the tools need to tier the cake (my next cake project/ challenge). As I foresee lack of time (since I need to bake and construct the cake after work) I bought some instant stuff for convenience. The custard will be ready made ones. I don't think my heart can take anymore failure. Oh, lunch was at Starbucks, my favorite drink and favorite sandwiches. At least I got myself rather fixed up today. (Just ignore that email for now, don't even think about your IB's reply. There is no betrayal and shall not be any up coming, so don't worry, TTB).
Tomorrow shopping again, but this time there will be a good start with a satisfying breakfast with MC and BIL, then good company to shop and drink. But I am just wondering if I should keep myself away from others, I'm not feeling so patient these few days. And the more impatient I get, the more frustrated I get with myself for feeling so because of some undeserving people.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The battle continues
I got new gossips I got new gossips!!
I saw BO at lunch place today!
Okay, THIS is not the gossip. But it's a pleasant surprise to see BO during working hours and luckily still can recognize him in his working attire instead of gym gear. Haha... oh sorry to "chase" you away from your table. And, thanks.
Now the gossip. My immediate boss has joined into the battle with The Wicked Witch of The West and he'd even joined a few of us slave of the witch for a good round of gossip session. My IB is all willing to step in if required. Huh, I think he just doesn't want to be left out from all the fun. With his position, it's a good troop for our forces.
Did I just said fun? It is actually, the more annoying The Witch become, the calmer we are - okay, some of us calm on surface only, but I'm actually able to achieve my zen status, surprisingly. I suppose this is the reason for such misfortune character to appear in the story - to train my patience. And, know what? With this kind of intruder, our team spirit has appeared to be stronger, we are becoming so much closer among us "old" people in the company.
Having said this, boss, I think you shouldn't be too involved, or just don't appear to be taking sides. We shall also try to protect our supportive boss by trying to cover him as much as we can. Let's manage things at our level.
Other than work, I'm all about work. So "sien". Perhaps I should take a real good break this weekend - shopping, Starbucks, movie and SLEEP!! Oh, yes, go to gym :p
I saw BO at lunch place today!
Okay, THIS is not the gossip. But it's a pleasant surprise to see BO during working hours and luckily still can recognize him in his working attire instead of gym gear. Haha... oh sorry to "chase" you away from your table. And, thanks.
Now the gossip. My immediate boss has joined into the battle with The Wicked Witch of The West and he'd even joined a few of us slave of the witch for a good round of gossip session. My IB is all willing to step in if required. Huh, I think he just doesn't want to be left out from all the fun. With his position, it's a good troop for our forces.
Did I just said fun? It is actually, the more annoying The Witch become, the calmer we are - okay, some of us calm on surface only, but I'm actually able to achieve my zen status, surprisingly. I suppose this is the reason for such misfortune character to appear in the story - to train my patience. And, know what? With this kind of intruder, our team spirit has appeared to be stronger, we are becoming so much closer among us "old" people in the company.
Having said this, boss, I think you shouldn't be too involved, or just don't appear to be taking sides. We shall also try to protect our supportive boss by trying to cover him as much as we can. Let's manage things at our level.
Other than work, I'm all about work. So "sien". Perhaps I should take a real good break this weekend - shopping, Starbucks, movie and SLEEP!! Oh, yes, go to gym :p
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The night shift emailers
Geezzz... what are you trying to show by sending me an email at 9.51pm? Why don't you send it to me next year? Really gave me no choice but to also send out some emails at 11.10pm. Humph...
It makes me wonder... do one new employee fit into the company culture, or does the company culture adapt to suit the new comer? It was in my Strategic Management and Management of Change lessons that stated something call culture web. If the culture of one company is so strong, the only way to change the culture is to get rid of the people who is behind that particular culture.
I have to date found half the people, the pioneers even, who are disheartened because of the recent "disturbance" to the culture. I have two views.
First of all, there will always be uncertainty and discomfort among employees when the company undergo expansion and change. It's like "who moved my cheese?". We should try to improve ourselves and catch up with the changes.
On the other hand, we enjoy going to work for the type of working environment the company can provide us. We go to work to earn a living and we are not there to participate in politics. Why should we bother to stay with a company which is no longer the one we joined?
On this note, there are perhaps two things we can do - adapt and accommodate the new comers (in other words make ourselves slaves of our new lord) or stand by our style and culture, and say "同我抖? 你未够班!"- want to challenge me? you are not at my level!
It makes me wonder... do one new employee fit into the company culture, or does the company culture adapt to suit the new comer? It was in my Strategic Management and Management of Change lessons that stated something call culture web. If the culture of one company is so strong, the only way to change the culture is to get rid of the people who is behind that particular culture.
I have to date found half the people, the pioneers even, who are disheartened because of the recent "disturbance" to the culture. I have two views.
First of all, there will always be uncertainty and discomfort among employees when the company undergo expansion and change. It's like "who moved my cheese?". We should try to improve ourselves and catch up with the changes.
On the other hand, we enjoy going to work for the type of working environment the company can provide us. We go to work to earn a living and we are not there to participate in politics. Why should we bother to stay with a company which is no longer the one we joined?
On this note, there are perhaps two things we can do - adapt and accommodate the new comers (in other words make ourselves slaves of our new lord) or stand by our style and culture, and say "同我抖? 你未够班!"- want to challenge me? you are not at my level!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
They are what you are
Besides being unbelievably busy and tired, I have also been extreeeeeemly annoyed and stressed out.
If you recall (or if you've tuned in then), in one of those episodes in the previous season, I've been called into THE big boss' office because I "shouted" at one of my colleagues. Not guilty. But have been categorized as one who cannot resolve "conflict" nevertheless. Okaaaay... There wasn't any conflict, I disagree on that description, it was pure me-putting-someone-back-at-some one's-place scene. Anyways, I told myself that certain feelings are better not told leave alone shown in front of the boss. I vowed to look into my "art of managing colleagues" since that episode.
This season, there is a new character who, naturally just like in any drama, possesses higher, more advance skill in annoying and stressing others out. And of course this new character holds higher position in the company and has got the boss' trust lah. Yeah, same old same old plot. However, although I'm one of the main characters in the story, I still don't know why is this person in the story. I always believe that everything happen for a reason and in time, you will know why. And always trust that no matter how good or bad you feel about things, it's all for your good. Mantra - things happen for a good course. Will see.
Right. I have been really annoyed with this very rude (advance level), always criticizing (PhD), know-it-all (international accreditation), contradicting self (cancer final stage) and irritatingly loud (super out-of-tune-soprano) new colleague in the office. I think my short description of this person pretty much summarized why I was so annoyed.
But no matter what, referring to my vow of total devotion to The Fine Art of Managing Colleagues, I've tried to be as zen as possible. Today, one of my junior colleagues told me she'd learnt a lot from me during the pass few days... The story is this junior of mine has been stressed out (I can't be the only one right?) and was near in tears due to the way this Wicked Witch of The West spoke to her. Imaging a bullet of sentences which doesn't make sense, presented at an 8 octave higher note. Meanwhile, there is this nails-scratching-on-black-board noise interfering at the background. Urghhh... hair standing. Tell me whether that drives you up the wall or not.
So anyways, junior told me that she'd learnt not to raise her eye brow and make a faces in the meeting - yeah lor, I told her, whatever annoys her, or whatever (ridiculous remarks) that amuses you, just keep a straight face. Exchanging glances with your partner in crimes is okay but keep facial expression to the minimum. And please, DON'T be obvious lah!
She also learnt from me (why, I AM surprised) to put up an angelic smile along with an Oscar winning "customer is always right" act while delivering the Witch what she wants. BUT, before that, put her through some patronizing (but she has no proof, or better still doesn't realize that we are being patronizing) inquiries about the reasons of her requests. Let her contradict herself a bit while you deliver your most thoughtful "Ri.....ght" at the end (with a nod). Then a long pause.
The result so far - she agreed with most of my HUMBLE suggestions; she has softened when delivering her command just in case she cannot answer some of the queries from her, oh so confused colleagues; she has taken most of our remarks as jokes (to cover up our sarcasm, we made them into jokes); AND, she said today before she left "good by TTB". Wah!! Directed her farewell especially to me. ME! Geezz....
So, what have I learnt? That the reactions of our colleagues are most of the time directly linked to how we react to them. I borrow this - patience is virtue. If you are annoyed with someone, try to change your behaviour first. I mean, maybe just for fun, just to amuse yourself and see how it goes. When you do a 180 degree change in attitude, the chances are...
One, your colleague will think that you are such an angel, you finally pulled yourself together to become an extremely co-operative colleague. If so, you can do the "Mwah hahahaha" and think to yourself "I shall see"- I'll just wait to see if you can deliver any results after you got what you want, which are suppose to help you perform. Of course you can always do the "Be careful when you cross the road" but I think no need for that okay? We are civilized. Ahem...
Two, your colleague will think that you've gone crazy. They might avoid triggering your madness and just play along with your sudden change. You can still do the "Mwah hahahaha" in this scenario.
Seriously, maybe it's because I'm so very tired lately, I just think that job is but a job, no need to stress ourselves out because of some stupid colleagues. I will just put up the "I cannot be bothered" attitude now a days. When I don't bother about them, they don't bother me. I laugh, they laugh.
One thing I reminded my junior was her laughter - don't be so fake or overdo it please. Humph...
If you recall (or if you've tuned in then), in one of those episodes in the previous season, I've been called into THE big boss' office because I "shouted" at one of my colleagues. Not guilty. But have been categorized as one who cannot resolve "conflict" nevertheless. Okaaaay... There wasn't any conflict, I disagree on that description, it was pure me-putting-someone-back-at-some one's-place scene. Anyways, I told myself that certain feelings are better not told leave alone shown in front of the boss. I vowed to look into my "art of managing colleagues" since that episode.
This season, there is a new character who, naturally just like in any drama, possesses higher, more advance skill in annoying and stressing others out. And of course this new character holds higher position in the company and has got the boss' trust lah. Yeah, same old same old plot. However, although I'm one of the main characters in the story, I still don't know why is this person in the story. I always believe that everything happen for a reason and in time, you will know why. And always trust that no matter how good or bad you feel about things, it's all for your good. Mantra - things happen for a good course. Will see.
Right. I have been really annoyed with this very rude (advance level), always criticizing (PhD), know-it-all (international accreditation), contradicting self (cancer final stage) and irritatingly loud (super out-of-tune-soprano) new colleague in the office. I think my short description of this person pretty much summarized why I was so annoyed.
But no matter what, referring to my vow of total devotion to The Fine Art of Managing Colleagues, I've tried to be as zen as possible. Today, one of my junior colleagues told me she'd learnt a lot from me during the pass few days... The story is this junior of mine has been stressed out (I can't be the only one right?) and was near in tears due to the way this Wicked Witch of The West spoke to her. Imaging a bullet of sentences which doesn't make sense, presented at an 8 octave higher note. Meanwhile, there is this nails-scratching-on-black-board noise interfering at the background. Urghhh... hair standing. Tell me whether that drives you up the wall or not.
So anyways, junior told me that she'd learnt not to raise her eye brow and make a faces in the meeting - yeah lor, I told her, whatever annoys her, or whatever (ridiculous remarks) that amuses you, just keep a straight face. Exchanging glances with your partner in crimes is okay but keep facial expression to the minimum. And please, DON'T be obvious lah!
She also learnt from me (why, I AM surprised) to put up an angelic smile along with an Oscar winning "customer is always right" act while delivering the Witch what she wants. BUT, before that, put her through some patronizing (but she has no proof, or better still doesn't realize that we are being patronizing) inquiries about the reasons of her requests. Let her contradict herself a bit while you deliver your most thoughtful "Ri.....ght" at the end (with a nod). Then a long pause.
The result so far - she agreed with most of my HUMBLE suggestions; she has softened when delivering her command just in case she cannot answer some of the queries from her, oh so confused colleagues; she has taken most of our remarks as jokes (to cover up our sarcasm, we made them into jokes); AND, she said today before she left "good by TTB". Wah!! Directed her farewell especially to me. ME! Geezz....
So, what have I learnt? That the reactions of our colleagues are most of the time directly linked to how we react to them. I borrow this - patience is virtue. If you are annoyed with someone, try to change your behaviour first. I mean, maybe just for fun, just to amuse yourself and see how it goes. When you do a 180 degree change in attitude, the chances are...
One, your colleague will think that you are such an angel, you finally pulled yourself together to become an extremely co-operative colleague. If so, you can do the "Mwah hahahaha" and think to yourself "I shall see"- I'll just wait to see if you can deliver any results after you got what you want, which are suppose to help you perform. Of course you can always do the "Be careful when you cross the road" but I think no need for that okay? We are civilized. Ahem...
Two, your colleague will think that you've gone crazy. They might avoid triggering your madness and just play along with your sudden change. You can still do the "Mwah hahahaha" in this scenario.
Seriously, maybe it's because I'm so very tired lately, I just think that job is but a job, no need to stress ourselves out because of some stupid colleagues. I will just put up the "I cannot be bothered" attitude now a days. When I don't bother about them, they don't bother me. I laugh, they laugh.
One thing I reminded my junior was her laughter - don't be so fake or overdo it please. Humph...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Busy...
Have not told a single story in here for some time. There have been loads of work to do at work which overflowed to personal time, hence didn't have the time to update the blog. There have been numerous stories composed mentally but never got on here. And I'm really lazy now. Actually I can't even remember those stories.
Erm... I need to get back to work now.
Erm... I need to get back to work now.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
It's Valentine's Day! Made some chocolate chips, and some raisins cupcakes with brandy butter icing, topped with individually handmade sweet-hearts.
Hope you've had a great celebration. Should be better than last year ya. As for me, hmmm... don't really remember "celebrating" Valentine's Day at all actually. Now, it makes me wonder...
Okay, I can't remember... I suppose how the celebration went was not so important. The important thing is whether we are with our loved ones on this special day.
Then again, why is everyone making Valentine's Day a special one? It makes me wonder again if this is for commercial purposes. I heard that a dozen of roses cost RM150 on this very special day. Should have just order a box of specially made cupcakes from me for half the price.
So, even if you are single, Valentine's Day is a day you should enjoy too. Love should be celebrated no matter you are single or married/ dating. (at least you don't have to spend a lot of money buying gifts haha...)
Love everyone around you... and not just your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/ wife.
So, even if you are single, Valentine's Day is a day you should enjoy too. Love should be celebrated no matter you are single or married/ dating. (at least you don't have to spend a lot of money buying gifts haha...) Love everyone around you... and not just your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/ wife. 
May your everyday be as magical as Valentine's Day!Friday, February 13, 2009
When my defence breaks down
I finally feel ill.
I'm sure all of us had experienced this, life seems to be so busy some how that we hold our defence strong to deal with all tasks and challenges that were thrown at us. Then it reaches this point where our body finally boycotts and shuts down for maintenance. Together with the temporary out-of-service of our body defence, the mental defence cannot hold on as well. That's when breakdown involves the mind and heart.
My heart is somehow feeling the pain and sense of lost.
Two days ago, my subordinate told me she was resigning. I got her resignation letter today. I have to say that she doesn't really fit into the office culture that perfectly, but she had been really great help. She learnt fast and was always willing to accept comments, and improve. Her paper work has been very good quality and she grooms herself tastefully. It saddened me that she decided to leave after only 8 months. During my informal chat with her yesterday, she told me she actually doesn't know what she wants for her career, and in life.
I thought then: how lucky I am to have a dream that I know I want to make come true.
How I wish that all dreams can be made come true. There are certain dreams which can come true if you plan and work hard to achieve them. But, there are many more which can be anything but coming true, they remains as, well, dreams. Then again, in this crazy world, anything can happen, anything is possible.
Let's take a break and resume the marathon of life again. Later.
I think I should do some baking and extreme decorations.
I'm sure all of us had experienced this, life seems to be so busy some how that we hold our defence strong to deal with all tasks and challenges that were thrown at us. Then it reaches this point where our body finally boycotts and shuts down for maintenance. Together with the temporary out-of-service of our body defence, the mental defence cannot hold on as well. That's when breakdown involves the mind and heart.
My heart is somehow feeling the pain and sense of lost.
Two days ago, my subordinate told me she was resigning. I got her resignation letter today. I have to say that she doesn't really fit into the office culture that perfectly, but she had been really great help. She learnt fast and was always willing to accept comments, and improve. Her paper work has been very good quality and she grooms herself tastefully. It saddened me that she decided to leave after only 8 months. During my informal chat with her yesterday, she told me she actually doesn't know what she wants for her career, and in life.
I thought then: how lucky I am to have a dream that I know I want to make come true.
How I wish that all dreams can be made come true. There are certain dreams which can come true if you plan and work hard to achieve them. But, there are many more which can be anything but coming true, they remains as, well, dreams. Then again, in this crazy world, anything can happen, anything is possible.
Let's take a break and resume the marathon of life again. Later.
I think I should do some baking and extreme decorations.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)