Change is possible

That's what the car park auto pay machine at The Gardens will tell you - "Change IS possible" - Not in capital letter, that is edited by me.

I don't think there is a single thing in this universe that will not change. When we say a person never change, we normally refer to a certain aspects of this person... My mum for example, doesn't think that my personality or attitude will ever change. True to a certain extend as I've lived 30 over years into who I am today, change is possible but take time and also great effort to convince myself to take the change. Besides, many things have became habits, believes and also part of my life.

I've given out part of my start up funds to mum. I hope, I really really hope this will provide her a the security that she is seeking for. If mum feels that I am an irresposible and not home-caring (if there's such term) person, perhaps I am and most probably I will always be. So I hope this other form of gesture will help her feel more comforted. And I also hope that by her buying herself another house/ flat will further provide her with the secure that she wants.

Mum moving out? Yeah, she has the plan and I somehow wish she will, not that I don't want to "take care" of mum, but I think we might appear like a burden for her because she has to take care of us. I don't know how arrangements between other children and parents are but I somehow feel that perhaps mum does not have enough "freedom", not that we restrict her from her daily activities, but she must have felt that she is responsible for a lot of matters related to her children. I don't think mum has ever lived a totally carefree life, since young she has to help support her family by working and earning money, when she got married she was responsible for a lot of dad's "problems", her business has been great but later she was responsible for all those "mess"... Maybe she's okay (I'm sure she is okay) to take care of house chores now, perhaps she's happy that we gather around for dinner having her home cooked food... but perhaps it's time she takes a break as well and only does thing for herself.

Mum said she will stop cooking us dinner from next month (tomorow), so today is our "last supper" haha... anyways, I think it's a good arrangement - I want to go on a diet :). Cutting down on dinner is the most effective way in loosing the weights. I want to go on salad, oats and fruits for dinner. Besides, this also mean that we don't need to stress going back for dinner, and mum doesn't have to stress not "meeting our expectations".

MC and BIL is also planning to move out. Actually I'd like to say "hooray!", IF I will be living alone on my own. But it's going to take some more time for changes to take place, but definitely changes is taking place and I will make sure there are some changes. I think it will do us good :)

Meanwhile, I'm going on the "no news is good news" concept for mum - I won't share too much information with her. She doesn't have to feel the difference when I undergo changes... I hope it works this time.