I was getting ready for my happy moments of finally tendering my resignation the next day when mum told me grandpa had not been eating for 3 days. She told me to standby because he could be "anytime".
I got a text from sis in the next room when I was tossing in bed trying not to be affected by my insomnia, sis told me it was scary that the wind was blowing so strongly... some time after sending her a good night text, she sent me a text again to say that grandpa passed away...
It was such a heart breaking moment to see ah gong when they uncovered his face under the blanket - almost skeletal, a very old and helpless face. I wasn't close with ah gong, he only lived with mum and I for a short while, perhaps a year, two? I cannot remember. All I could remember was mum and grandpa always got on wrong foot, there were a lot of quarreling. But mum held onto her responsibility of taking care of her dad till one day one of my uncles decided to have him back.
Ah gong was from China, he had the traditional Chinese way of thinking that the son should take care of him and that when he died, he would want to be in his son's house. Too bad, my uncle couldn't hold on to his responsibility in taking care of my grandpa till his last days of life. The caretaker told us that ah gong was not in fear or suffering when he passed away, he was quietly but diligently chanting Buddha Amitabha's name. Although it's sad to be passing away in a stranger's place away from home, but perhaps at adverse situation, we then remember our cultivation and chanting.
Ah gong is believed to be 98 years old. We were not too sure I guess, I think the year on his identification card is different from the age he said he was. I always wonder how it would be living almost a hundred years. I sometimes forget that I am 35 years old, I cannot imagine how I would keep track of my age adding another 35 onto it, leave alone 65 years! And what does one do when one cannot walk properly, can't hear clearly and having a very blur vision? Ah gong used to be able to walk a far distance at the age of late 80s, if I remember correctly he's only helpless during the passed 5 years or so. He often said if he doesn't walk a lot, he wouldn't be able to walk. He's also a heavy smoker so I guess here's one case that had proven the theory of smoking shorten life wrong.
Honestly speaking, I wasn't too devastated with the news because it was expected at his age, and I felt that this is a relief to the living and a relief to ah gong. Again, I really cannot imagine, and am afraid to imagine how much pain he must have had during his last few years of life. Even one of the caretakers told us she wouldn't want to live till such old age, perhaps 60 years is quite enough for her.
Perhaps it's a coincidence, or maybe we do need some "cleansing" of our bodies. Sis and I had been sick. I started throwing up on Sunday night, in the middle of chanting for ah gong. Sis was down with terrible tummy upset the next morning. Mum was at the chanting session from midnight till noon the next morning and witness wonderful signs suggested that ah gong has "wang sheng" to the western pure land.
I'd to conduct a training this morning hence I reported to work for half a day and that was when I tendered my resignation letter. Which will be another story, another day. I left office by noon to lead a chanting session at my uncle's, where ah gong now lies until the cremation. If you would chant "amituofo" for ah gong, here's the script you can read at the end of your chanting:
愿以此功德
回向已故赖友居士
未往生，速往生
已往生，增长福慧
往生净土，增高品位
发菩提心，一向专念阿弥陀佛
同生净土，同圆种智
南无阿弥陀佛！
