I will try my best...

I was quite inspired the other day when Swee discussed about this Chinese proverb - "百世修得同船渡，千世修来共忱眠". We were discussing the word "修" and were trying to determine what was the best translation for this word to English. Normally this word alone means something like "cultivate" but in this sentence, it doesn't mean cultivate. Well, it does still have the essence of cultivating I feel, but we thought then that it was supposed to mean more like "put in effort" or "hard work".

This proverb was from the Buddha - 佛曰: 百年修得同船渡，千年修得共枕眠! 而千年之后又能相守几时? 并非我曰! He also said - 五百次的回眸，才换来人群中的一次擦身而过.

It is difficult to translate the proverb word by word, but if we must, this is what it means roughly - "one will get to be in a same boat (crossing the river etc) with another person after one has made an effort (to build a relationship) with this person in question for the passed one hundred years; one will get to share the same pillow (actually means gotten married with each other) with another person after one has made an effort (to build a relationship) with this person for the passed one thousand years."

Buddha also said - "only after one has turned five hundred times to glance at another person that one will get to closely pass by this other person in question in the crowd for one time."

The discussion topic was actually about "缘" - destiny.

Like Swee said, from her point of view, and it actually meant to say, that it took great effort and "time" for two persons to be able to be together; therefore, we must cherish everyone around us, especially your other half. It is not easy, IF ONLY we remember our passed lives (yes Swee, coming to that point too shortly) that you will really feel and say the "it's not easy" with conviction. And if you can "see" what you've gone through to get to where you are with him/her today, I'm sure you will definitely handle the relationship with utmost care. :)

Now I will leave Swee to talk about this in her blog - are you still going to blog about this? Else can always leave your views in my comments and start another discussion session here with some anonymous - if they do drop in. Haha...

So I told Swee that I feel really sad every time I see this proverb because I actually see this from another point of view as well - which you might think is negative.

If I have met someone I really like and have done all the right things I could but still couldn't get things to work out between the two of us, it is because there has not been enough effort during the passed lives to enable "enough" destiny for our relationship to work in this life. Therefore, there is nothing I can do about it - at least not for now.

So, knowing the "theory" behind this matter of destiny, I will not give up on all the possible efforts - I will still try my best to stay in touch with him, make sure I send him a "good morning" message everyday, be at outings and occasions where he will be at, pamper him with as many gifts as I can (or as he will accept), and not give up being just his best friend because I've probably put in a lot of effort in the passed nine hundred years to get to be his best friend - and with all these aforementioned efforts, I will probably get to be with him in my next, or next next next next life.

(note to self - lets just 往生净土 and never "come back" actually)

Nevertheless, I'm somewhat positive, no?

And my dearest said, the problem is I will not remember (him). I know I won't remember him, but with so much effort, I know I will like him all over again.

And hopefully he will feel so too then.