Disaster!

I remember very few incidents that I had been so terrified in my life. It was the despair, hopeless, I-don't-know-how-I-can-get-on-with-it, moment. I remember there was the first time I failed a paper and didn't dare to show mum the paper; there was time when I failed my first driving test... and my memory fails me there, perhaps it is good not to remember the distressing moments.

I was preparing a 2 tier cake for one of my friend's wedding, it is supposed to sit on the top of a cake tower with cupcakes below, so around 40 medium cupcakes. Plus 220 pcs of mini cupcakes as favors. It was really really stretching considering I didn't have any help. But finally on Friday, I has to surrender to SOS and called my cousin sister. MC also helped a lot, not only with the hands on work, but also by being there. I actually want to just put this incident at the back of my mind, but I want to blog about it and get over with this nasty feeling at the bottom of my stomach. Hopefully.

So there I was preparing the cake, the night before and it was around 10pm. CRASHED!!! The bride figurine suddenly fell off the cake and onto the FLOOR!! I was lucky she didn't crack or got damaged. But the cake was "broken" - there was a patch that fell off from the top tier and there was NO WAY it can be repaired. I texted MFG to tell him I am "SCARED". Really, it wasn't just stressed, but cold sweat scared. The wedding function was the next day!

After lifting the top tier off from the bottom, the bottom tier was damaged too. I really had cold sweat swept over me. Waves of nausea overtaken my senses. I didn't know what to do... How can there be no cake? Even though it was for my friend! I was at the edge of breaking down, only MC and cousin was there and told me that I should not give up and must try my best to salvage that. At the end, I decided to bake the cake again.

You have no idea how stressful that was, it took me THREE full days to get to that point and I only have 1 night? I was supposed to attend the church ceremony also but I decided to give that up, even though I was really looking forward to it, and I bought new dress for the event.

Then the groom figurine also started to fail me, I wanted to throw that away and make a new one, only MC reminded me that I do not have time - there was not enough time for the figurine to harden and be able to stand just overnight. She was right, luckily she was there to talk some sense onto me. So I had to just cover the imperfect legs.

I didn't have time to cry, only a lump chocking on my throat constantly. The night before I worked till 4am on the figurines and so on Friday night, I worked til 5.30am. It was really stressful and tiring till I wanted to just put my head down on the table and go to sleep - not to wake up: forever.

Finally, I pulled it through and it was delivery time, I really could not delay my journey anymore. In a rush, I found that my purse couldn't fit into my clutch bag. I wanted to just take out my IC and driving license and go without cash etc. BUT, I cannot find my driving license in my whole purse!! What happened? I didn't have time to figure out what happened to my driving license, so I took my whole handbag and left. I "hid" it in the boot. I know I am taking risk, I've done that before and I thought I might get away with it. After all, they can't track non electronic stuff in the boot right? And I took out all the cash, only left with RM20 (I originally had about RM600 in the purse). All those while, I hope the bag was well hidden and the mind was fully occupied with the delivery and what if the figurine fell off?? I would faint. You cannot imagine how scared I was. Even MFG after I told him what happened, he said he cannot imagine. He thought it was just a matter of working on it again with the extra few hours. I didn't think anyone can imagine how I felt.

Half way through dinner, I had gastric. I know I was really careless, I actually was so tired and sick that I felt like I didn't care about anything in the world anymore. So I went to take the pills from the car. Yes, my handbag was still there, and to think back, that must be the time when someone must have seen the handbag in he boot! I had this creep feeling at the back of my neck, but tiredness really overwhelm me. I still had another cake to prepare for the next morning. MORNING! And can anyone imagine how stressed out I was.

Anyways, you would have known. An hour later, I returned to my car to leave and my handbag was gone, along with shattered glass at the backseat window that was facing the main road. The thief didn't even smash the glass at the opposite side which will be well hidden from passerby. And that side was exactly where the handbag was.

Actually, despair not because I lost my handbag. I can buy a new one, cards and documents yes, it is going to be a hassle, but they can be recovered. The window glass will cost me RM150. But it was not the end of the world. Surprisingly I was depressed because I couldn't get home earlier to get on with my cake order, and I was really upset that the night ended that way. It was supposed to me a mission accomplished night.

I was really tired. Moral of the story is not just be careful and not leave stuff in the car. Who doesn't know? All the stories all the reminder. But I guess one go the convenient way and take things for granted. I was glad I was not mugged and perhaps I should not decline company when offered - a girl friend offered to company me to my car but I thought it's just a very short distance so better not trouble her. So imagine if I took my handbag with me and got snatched.

And another moral of the story is really DO NOT take too much order. Do not take more that what I can manage to have on my plate. To top everything, mum was so sarcastic when she found out about the incident, it was serve me right. Yes, I accepted it, I was lazy and I deserve this outcome. I take it without complaint, but mum, it really hurts and it didn't help with my future doings, if anything, I felt like being rebellious and not listen to her. Doesn't she know me better already? I guess not. And why do I even bother since I know she's going to be her no matter what.

This post is too long.

MFG and another guy friend accompanied me to the police station, the other friend drove my car while MFG led the way. My girlfriend has been there providing all the numbers for me to call the banks. Geezz... didn't realize I have got so many cards. After checking, the thief didn't use any of my cards. Later my friend drove me and my car home and MFG followed. It was really comforting. But I was REALLY tired after that, I cannot begin to describe how I felt. Anyways, I got on with preparing the cake for the next day delivery. I told my customer that there were 2 items which I cannot managed. She gave me full price when I delivered to her this morning despite having told here that I will give her a discount. MC and BILL drove me to Ikano this morning for the delivery and accompanied me which was really comforting.

I suddenly feel very "lonely". It's a strange feeling, I guess many people chose to settle down when this kind of feeling overwhelms them. MC and BIL will be moving out soon. Mum also reminded me that she will not be with me soon. MFG leaving for business trip middle of this week and well, he is never going to be "with me" anyhow.

Thanks Sweeie for the messages, though your story made me cry but it was comforting to receive message at the middle of this really quiet night.

So all in all, I feel really tired and depressed, and I think I am allowed to cry a little, finally.

Take a break?

It is easier said than done. Taking a break and relaxing have became something challenging for me lately. When there is no more official working hours, every hour and every minute is working hour for me, weekends are not off days for me and public holidays don't apply to me. The mind is constantly at work. It's really stressful, but as the wise said, stress is often self inflicted, which is so true.

I guess when you work for yourself, you really need the passion otherwise you really get tired of your "job". Although time are really flexible, but when there are deadlines, the working hours become inflexible and well, stressful! Sometimes even though the tasks have been completed, or I have gone the maximum extend for what I can physically do, the mind will not shut down, it gets soaked up with oh, so many thoughts. And I am by nature a person that thinks too much, so my current situation has given the mind even more "excuses" to think a lot...

I hope this is just a phase and I am able to live a more relaxing life soon, haha... actually, with cafe coming up, it could be worse. But on the other hand, when there is a "work place" perhaps I can draw some lines somewhere, some how...

For now, I can only have a KitKat but not really able to take a real break.

Insomnia expected

I had a dream that really wasn't logic haha... Are all dreams illogical?

I normally remember whether I dreamt but most of the time cannot remember the "content". So happen the memory was fresh and I told MC and BIL about it, so am able to recall - MFG was staying with us at our house because he was a foreigner visiting Malaysia. In my dream, it was Sunday and I was supposed to bring MFG around the next day BUT I forgot to apply for annual leave!!!

I think annual leave application must have haunted me to a certain extend, haha... and I forgot that I don't have to go to work anymore! No need to apply leave ever again, and public holidays do not apply to me, neither is medical leave.

September is actually a good month. I am getting more orders and if it wasn't because I am phobia with not being able to cope with the orders, I could have had orders on 20, 21 and 22. These are Monday to Wednesday and is consider a good arrangement since cake orders used to only come in for weekends. I declined the new order for 22nd and also rejected one for 24th earlier on. I will be so crazily busy next week for my friend's wedding on 25th, and soon after that 26th and 27th are booked too, potentially with more than just 1 order. I really need to decide what to do with those orders. To do or not to do. Figurines are taking more and more time now a days, I really need to increase the price since I am not able to take more orders.

Talking about wedding, I have a phobia that one day, MFG will ask if I can do his wedding cake. (and I don't mean the bride is me)... that would be such a devastating nightmare. At least I still feel so now... sigh.

Okay, I better go sleep. Need to "work" tomorrow. Next week is a stressful week and I can so foresee a week of insomnia!

Back in action!

Back to gym today after missing from gym for a whole 3 weeks! I have been that busy and the first thing to give up will be gym besides social outings. I hope I am able to keep a balance and not having to overdo myself all the time. I told MC this morning that I felt comfortable working out even though I haven't worked out for 3 weeks, and she said that's because I was not stressed and tired out.

I did RPM this morning to start and I managed to put up the resistance. The only drawback was I did not sweat much. Weather too cold this morning? Continued with body pump and can feel the body warmer after the squat track. I can feel my knee pain now, I shouldn't have used 10kgs (the usual weights), and perhaps I should have just used body weight instead of adding the 5kgs plate. Anyways, I cannot manage my usual weights from back track onwards...

Nevertheless, I expect myself to be waking up with terrible muscle ache!!

Now, to lose those weights, I need to go on a diet. Bye bye ice coffee with ice cream at Dome. Ohh... And BR ice creams...

And perhaps a massage will be great to complement my break :)

Lunch with MFG on Wednesday ^^

Taking a break...

Starbucks 尖东, Hong Kong

It has been a really busy week. At first the week has been booked for some birthday cakes, the normal weekly traffic. Later there was a bigger order of 7 boxes from a single customer. I took that order at first thinking that she wanted to break the minimum order into several small boxes. Ended up 7 big boxes. It was really tiring.

I had also spent a huge amount of time trying to settle a few critical matters for my secret project. It has been tough decision making and trying to get hold of people in the other end of the globe during midnight and early in the morning.

Lack of sleep made the mind grew so tired and cloudy. There has been a time when I baked one whole portion of cupcakes extra; and I baked a cake in a wrong tin size had to bake another one; one of the cakes my cousin helped me baked went wrong, I baked that again towards midnight; the figurines were taking longer time to make; there were lesser details on the work.

I have decided that I need to shut down and reset. So apparently this is a job which requires long hour AND a clear focus mind. I declined a few orders for this week, the last one was the customer who called on Thursday afternoon for an order on Saturday. On "normal" days, I could have taken the order, but it was a very busy Thursday, I was still trying to complete Barney and friends, and after which I need to prepare 3 other boxes of cakes for party and giveaway. The request in question was for a Barbie... geezz... human figurine, I don't think I can even focus my eyesight for the job. If I had taken the job, I would be making Barbie right now thinking that it might collapse onto the cupcake for not being dry and sturdy enough.

It is sometimes hard to say no and it's hard to put a stop on things, but I realize you just have to sometimes. I put up an FB status before I had decided what to do with that last minute order, and everyone cheered me on, saying that I can do it. MFG on skype told me, if I really needed a break, then it is better to reject the order. I guess he had seen me in my really tired state before and can see that I must rest. At the end I told the customer I was really sorry... I hope she found a better baker.

I need to get back to my gym routine hopefully next week. I don't have orders for next week and I hope to keep it that way for now so that I can rest and workout again. Those strength I built should be gone by now, 3 weeks of missing from gym. And today I went to an open house, with me in my old baju which fits me nicely!!! Ahhhh... I put on the new one at first and the waist must have been 2 inches smaller!!! This was the case where I was upset because I could fit into my old clothes. :(((

I said I missed MFG because he couldn't make it to the open house today. It felt like I haven't seen him for a long time, but in fact I only just saw him last week. I put up a message on my MSN saying "What do I do when I cannot tell you that I miss you?" and one of my friends could guess who I missed. It has been so long already...

I need sleep.

(I accidentaly published this on the TeaRoom blog just now!!! Used wrong ID. I hope no one was so quick to read it :p)

Tiredness

Almost there with this weeks' deliveries... I am so tired.

Things are not smooth with my project, I am feeling very unsettled.

I miss MFG!

And I will miss sis when she moves out next week :(((

The MFG moments, here and there

In HK, at Starbucks near Avenue of Stars

iPhone 4 is cool but I think I am not even half way to getting to know my phone. MFG just gave me a tutorial yesterday, installed a few things on phone and laptop for me. He got his iPhone 4 from Singapore. MFG also gave me some loupo biscuit!! Mum was very happy to receive those. :)) Now I don't feel too bad about my shopping incompetency :p

MFG was introduced to BO yesterday at Starbucks, when BO anxiously waited for his "moment". I can see MFG being so impressed with BO's proposal plan haha... So, now most of my friends met MFG. Still what I always say - too bad. Sigh.

Yesterday for the first time I left first instead of waited until MFG had to go. Normally I try to spend the most possible time with him to get a maximum MFG dosage.

I was at a my biz partner's house today, after the discussion I told them MFG was at HK too almost at the same time. They were impressed that we went to HK together and were about to tease me, but I told them I didn't even see MFG while I was there. And they thought it was such a pity since two persons were at the same place so far away. Oh well, what to do?

I am having bad cough, which unfortunately not even a few dosage of MFG can help. Having bad nights, disturbed sleep and terrible eye bag! Next week is going to be crazy week with quite a lot of deliveries...

And please pray for me on TeaRoom location...