Is it true that generally men don't like to voluntarily share information about their daily activities? Perhaps when they do so it's going to look like they are "reporting" to someone? For instance, before a guy goes out, he'll say (IF he tells you at all) "I'm going out" full stop. But if it were to be me, most likely I'll say "I'm going out to Bangsar to swim, then lunch at The Gardens, and then shopping". I'll most probably throw in information on who I was going with, what I might want to have for lunch and what I want to shop for. Too long winded already is it? Mind you, information will only be provided to people I care. For sure won't volunteer so much information to say, my neighbour or my colleagues lah. So does this apply to men? Do they volunteer more information when it comes to important people? Or all the same?
Is it something to do with macho-ness? I mean, maybe it makes them cool by speaking in a short and simple manner. No need to explain too much, no need to elaborate, issit? That also applies to replies I think. For example, sms replies that usually come in "ok" full stop, or "can", "yes" full stops. Or simply no reply which is either being very agreeable, or no comments, or got comments but better not waste time typing. I always feel very blessed and warm when someone special replies with more than one sentence, like... "u too. Good night." haha... Oh, since we are on the topic of sms. Sometimes the "good night" or "have a good weekend" in the sms replies do sound a bit "final", it's like, okay lah, let's call off this chain sms-ing after this reply, this is the last greeting.
On the other hand, since men and information do not come in a package, does it also mean that men don't like to be questioned? I mean, what else can we gals do then if we really do need (kepoh lah in other words) some important information? We must simply ask, mustn't we? So there comes the where are you going, who are you going with (girl or boy??), why are you going, how long, coming back when... Would you guys take us as sweet little angels who are really concern about you guys, or would you simply get annoyed with us and tell us that you don't report to us? Hmm...
Personally, I think it's so very sweet when a guy volunteer to provide full set of information on his plans. Sharing information is such a heart warming gesture. And you may ask why, oh why must I want to know where you are going?
Because if I know where you are, I would know where to send my thoughts to when I miss you.
9 comments:
I like the last statement. =)
Yeah, I think Men and Information most of the times donot come in one package. And to ask, we somemore need to be tactful enough not to sound needy or controlling.
MEN, cant live with them, cant live without them, as they said. =)
First of all, I love your post.
I supposed this doesn't apply to all men. I do have boy friends who like sharing a lot about their life. However, I have also gone through the similar experience like you even now. For instance, like the guy would just told you that “I'll be traveling for 1 week in November.” Oh i see, November. But when? When are you leaving and when are you coming back? Where are you going? Business trip or holiday?
There are always ton of questions in our mind, could we just let the cat out by asking them this and that? I wonder...
Generally, we girls will just try to be “SMART” without showing them our curiosity. Or perhaps the guy's intention of making it short is to give us a chance to ask further, so that it shows our concern, possible?
Hee... thanks gals, for liking my post. And I must tell him my last statement, some time ;)
I suppose men will share information with important people only. So if they start telling you more, it means we start to get more special. Maybe.
Sometimes you ask one whole paragraph (or a few paragraphs) of questions, and they only answer one of them. Humph...
And yeah lor, we gals have to be smart all the time. I also wonder sometimes whether we need to be less cool sometimes, i mean, would they think that we don't care if we are not curious? but we are also worried that we might appear to be "很烦" when we start to question them.
Now, we are the ones who need to be clever enough to pick up hints, and strike a balance. And we must know how to inteprete answers from MEN's point of views and not ours alone... wah... we have important tasks don't we gals ;)
this is so TRUE... love this post... especially the last statement..
Gave hubby lots of 'conditioning' and 'brain wash' in order for him to share information now. But even so many years (12 years together 8 years marriage-soon) he still does not offer information. Just like sometimes when i saw him chatting to someone on the phone and was joking out loud i will ask: 'What's that joke about?" he will just answer:"Chatting to mom"... OH.. that suppose to explain the joke? AHHH...
I think man who are naturally not talkative will not offer information.
I can't speak for all 'Men' but I think men's secretive nature may be due macho-ness, as you so rightly put it (hey, but don't blame us, this a remnant of our club-wielding-cave-painting ancestors). Men and women just have different priorities. Women like to know the smallest details like what you had for lunch, who did you talked to, etc, etc, etc..... but for men, these daily events are not worth sharing explicitly (and it takes up a lot of my limited brain capacity to store and access them). We (or at least I do) also harbour idea that keeping silent and giving one-liner answers make us seem cool (girls: for the sake of our self esteem, please don't tell us the truth :)
SMS-the wonder of modern day communication -sms anytime anywhere but have you seen the size of the keypads on the new phones? I am cursed with a large hand, so my thumb alone covers at least 4-6 buttons. Since, society now dictates that every SMS received warrants a reply, men have no choice but to delicately key in the shortest and most concise reply possible ..... or .... we will just call.
So these are my excuses for giving short and concise but otherwise unsatisfactory one-liner response to the opposite sex.
We have to admit that men and women are different. Well, that's why we've been categorized differently to start with. From many years of sms-experience (haha), I derived that we should always be opstimistic towards all replies, always give men the benefit of the doubt - they sometimes might not mean what they type, or not type what they mean.
I also realized that we shouldn't ask men too many questions in the sms because they will just choose to answer one of them. You would either have to ask again (and hence we are long winded) or just handle things without their answers.
Message to men reading this post: we ask so many questions because we care for you guys!! You don't see us "interviewing" the postman, or the receptionist, or the erm... drivers.
Just saw this post and well it's really interesting. Let me share my 2cents in this issue.
We do not like to share that much doesn't necessarily means that we don't care. It means that we do not like to go into details. Don't get me wrong, not all men are like that but I assume most are. Like anom said, men has limited brain cells, so we limit ourselves with more important stuff.
But I agreed that guys like to share if they like you a lot. They wanted to share whatever they do and will do or probably might do stuff with you.
But most of all it's in our genes I guess. We don't go telling our partner, "I'm going out to Bangsar with my colleagues and we'll be hanging out at Starbucks till 11 going through some paper works. You be lucky if you get this from us, "Going out, be back before midnight". You can say that we are efficient and non-nonsense type of species. We don't waste our energy and brain cells indulging into details and step by steps routine of what we're gonna do.
Well of course this is my thought and solely based on my own opinion. Good debate topic. LOL!
I can answer you, but I'll just implicate myself... haha.
Its funny that MasterChef mentioned something about 'conditioning'. You see while you're trying to so called condition us- we are actually conditioning you as well. If you start to be detailed on a few occasions, then you'll be expected to continue to do so. Thus, to avoid complications of having to explain why we don't offer much info now as compared to before (as well as to avoid potential arguments, which are draining), men, being the practical creatures that they are, just decide it's better not to start at all. Savvy?
That's just scratching the surface of this issue. But will have to suffice, just to let you know we can share information when we want- wait and the reasons will make itself clear.
Let the flaming begin!
P.s- btw, just to let you know I read your blog too ;)
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